Today’s blog is something that i’ve only just worked out how to explain. As many of you know I didn’t place in Miss London 2016, however, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like a winner. I’ve come so far to get to where I am now, over come more obstacles that you can ever know, I may not have won the pageant but i’m definitely still winning at life.
However, this post won’t be about about my personal journey but more how to overcome failures. In my last blog I spoke about positive mindsets for weight loss but this is about what happens when things don’t quite go to plan. Having a bad meal, skipping a workout or even having a weight gain may seem like the end of the world but it’s about overcoming those set backs and pushing forward even when it seems impossible.
Denial for me mainly happens when i have a cheat meal. Mainly because rather than a cheat meal I end up losing faith and having a cheat day. I’ll eat some chocolate and think ‘ well i’m not gonna lose weight today so I might aswell go full out’. I’m literally in denial about my weight loss and what i’ve just eaten. Having a cheat snack doesn’t make you a failure, it just makes you human. You should ALWAYS have what you want. Just everything has to happen in moderation. I always find if I want some chocolate i’ll go and by a freddo rather than a large bar of dairy milk, or (as i’m vegan now) a little M&S dairy free chocolate lollipop rather than a large bar. The other end of denial is denying that you ate something bad at all, until you get on the scale and see i’ve put on weight and then that little bit of chocolate will be all you blame it on.
The worst thing you can do is be angry at yourself. You’re allowed to make mistakes, you’re allowed to make small gains especially in the first few months. It is extremely frustrating when you’ve put so many hours into something for it to crumble around you, but you need to take the next part in your stride. Anger is one of the most unproductive emotions, not only does it ruin your self confidence but also if you don’t control it stops you moving forward. The best thing you can do is turn your anger into something creative, brush it aside and begin to work out what you’re going to do next.
This is where the hard part comes, you’ve already seen the bad outcome but you have to make the decision. Do you say ‘I Quit’ or ‘Now i know what it feels like to have a bad outcome and i’m not going to let it happen again. This is possibly the most important part of learning to deal with the failure. No one else can influence this decision you have to again go back to being 100% committed. Also, this decision could take a little while to make. This decision will also go hand in hand with the next part….
A lot of people will now decide with a weight gain, bad meal or skipped workout that they’re not going back. They’ll go from being angry about what they did to being genuinely upset, and again this is absolutely fine, it all helps with the decision you’re making. Why would you want to be upset, did you not see how amazing you felt before this slip up happened? That’s what you have to keep reminding yourself. Even now, almost 5 stone later I still have these feelings. You just need to shrug them off, remember the reason you started this journey, and think about your end goal. You’re not going to get their feeling sorry for yourself. SO…. make that change!!
This is the best part! You’ve been through all that crap with the bad feelings, you’ve made a decision and finally it’s time to move to. Whether you’ve decided to give up or you’re about to smash into the next part of your journey this is the time you can enjoy it. Take everything you’ve learnt and turn in into a positive learning curve.
Being a winner isn’t about how much weight you’ve lost, how big your six pack is or what anyone else is telling you. It’s about learning from your failures and it’s about how confident you feel in yourself. It’s SO important that you are 100% committed to what you are doing or these steps just become a vicious circle. No one said it was going to be easy, if it was the payoff wouldn’t be so great! Whether it’s takes an hour, day, week, month it is never too late to get back on the healthy living train. Even if you’ve only taken the first few steps of your journey, or you’ve been through these stages a million times it makes no difference. You’re a winner because you’re making the effort and you’re trying. If it takes you months to get through these stages it doesn’t matter, we are all rooting for you, you CAN do this, together we’re ALL winners!